Lesson 4: Energy Investing and Getting Dressed

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Objective

Understand how and why to dress professionally for your job as a homemaker

Assignment Summary

Put “get dressed” and “lay out clothing for tomorrow” in morning and evening routines in your BOPO

Get completely dressed (including shoes, hair, face, accessories, etc.) for one week. Share your experience on our Facebook page.

Recommended Reading

https://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time

http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/dressed-to-shoes/

http://www.livingonadime.com/improve-life-dressed/

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2013/03/fight-the-frump-get-dressed/

http://articles.latimes.com/2010/may/06/food/la-fo-0506-aprons-20100506

Lesson

“The best asset we have for making a contribution to the world is ourselves. If we underinvest in ourselves, and by that I mean our minds, our bodies, and our spirits, we damage the very tool we need to make our highest contribution.” –Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, page 94. 2014.

Energy Investing

It takes lots of energy to keep up with all the roles you fill as a career homemaker. But for most of us, our energy is limited. However, like time and money, if invested properly, energy can yield more in kind: if I put my energy toward the right activities, I’ll have more energy for everything else. This is, for me, what it means to invest in ourselves. I call it “energy investing.” (I recommend reading more about this concept in this Harvard Business Review article on shifting our focus from time management to energy management.)

Many activities could be considered “energy investments.” My top five energy investment opportunities I aspire to do daily are as follows:

• Sleeping and waking early
• Exercising
• Eating right
• Renewing my spirit through prayer/meditation and study
• Getting dressed

What? Getting dressed is a top five energy investment opportunity? Yes. Today’s lesson focuses on how getting dressed for your profession is an investment in yourself and your energy. We’ll also cover how to dress for a homemaking profession. I won’t cover other energy investment opportunities in this course; however, I strongly urge you to consider what kinds of energy investments will make the biggest difference in your energy levels and work some of these practices into your routines right away.

Why Get Dressed?                                    

Now, many of you already get dressed up daily, especially if you work outside the home. But some of us stay-at-home homemakers struggle to feel like it’s worth it because it’s a lot easier to just live in sweats because no one sees us anyway, so why put forth the effort?

But the thought that “no one” sees us is a lie.

The most important people in our lives—those that live in our home with us--see us. And perhaps more importantly, we see us. I mean, you see yourself.

You are the most important person of all to dress up for. You’re worth it.

Let me ask: How much energy do you feel like you have if you look in the mirror and see yourself like this?

Contrast that with this:

Images from The Art of Homemaking by Daryl V. Hoole page 13

When you pass yourself in the mirror and you see someone attractive and put together, you get an energy boost every time.

And getting completely dressed—including doing hair, make-up, shoes, and accessories—is not hard or even very time-consuming! For a fantastic blog post on this, please go here. Notice this blogger’s before and after pictures of herself and how long it took her to put herself together in each instance. Don’t forget to come back to this lesson!

It’s pretty obvious to most of us that getting dressed for a job is a matter of professionalism, and many people understand that dressing right could actually make or break your career. But somehow this idea gets lost when it comes to the homemaking profession. So how should you dress for your career as a professional homemaker? The quick answer is to dress both practically and attractively. Here’s what that means to me.

Shoes

The FlyLady has a whole article on why you should wear good “lace-up” shoes (meaning a good pair of athletic shoes like cross-trainers or something supportive) whenever you’re working in your home. After testing out her method in this respect, I’m converted. Read her article here. When I wear good shoes for my job, I

• have better posture, which promotes overall health and energy
• can move more quickly
• don’t get sore feet while working on harder floors in my house
• don’t stub my toes or soak my socks in mystery puddles (we all have them somewhere in the house)
• feel ready for any job I need to do

You may want to get a good pair of shoes just for working inside the house to protect your floors more and to be a bit more sanitary.

Clothing

I find it fascinating that in most books, blogs, and methods I’ve encountered on the subject of homemaking and housework, proper dress is discussed, and is often one of the first things prescribed. In fact, the importance of getting properly dressed for homemaking has been recognized for hundreds of years. Consider the following quotes from chapter 1, section 5 of The English Housewife by Gervase Markham written in 1615:

“Let therefore the housewife’s garments be comely, cleanly and strong, made as well to preserve the health as adorn the person, altogether without toyish garnishes, or the gloss of light colours, and far from the vanity of new and fantastic fashions, as near to the comely imitations of modest matrons.”

No better advice has been given yet on this subject. Gervase nailed it clear back in 1615. When you dress for your job, go for what supports you well and watch out for the "gloss of light colours" or things that will wear out and stain quickly, and avoid “toyish garnishes” that interfere with your work. But be sure to go for “comely” (attractive). I could end with this quote, but here’s another good piece of advice and perspective from the 20^th century:

“If you look like the family doormat they’ll walk all over you. If you look pert, neat and attractive and as though you had some opinions and rights, they will respect you for it and cooperate better. As you lay the foundation of routine work for a successful day, getting dressed is the corner stone.”--Daryl V. Hoole The Art of Homemaking pages 15-17, 1969

Yes. Of course, the manual from ’69 is going to emphasize getting a little RESPECT. Cue Aretha Franklin here.

The 21^st century advice I’ve appreciated the most comes from Marie Kondo, who usually dresses in a blazer and skirt while helping her clients tidy up. She recommends dressing as if for a special occasion in something that for you “sparks joy.” For some clients, this means pulling out their ballroom dance costume and wearing during the tidying festivities (see Spark Joy pages 24-25) . The point being that wearing clothing that helps you feel good makes the job more fun and makes you better at doing your job.

Many homemakers sacrifice the attractiveness of their clothing for comfort, but it the advice of ages suggests that dressing for your job should not be that way. You should look as good for your career as any other professional, and you’ll feel better about yourself if you do. 

I wear something between casual and business casual most days, even though I’m doing dirty work and have a toddler that climbs all over me all the time. I even accessorize and do my makeup quite often. Because I do these things nearly every day, putting myself together is a quick routine. If you’re not used to doing this, it may take you some time to build up your get-ready routine. Start small: just get fully dressed to shoes for starters, then start trying to add in the hair, makeup, and accessories as you feel up to it. The bare minimum, though, is to put on something that is attractive, energizes you, and right for the job—NOT pajamas or “loungewear.” 

But how do I manage to wear “nice” clothes every day with kids and grime to deal with? First, it’s true that wearing my nicer clothes on a regular basis does wear on them more. But what’s the point of even having nice clothes if rarely wear them? Besides, with a little thrift-store savvy shopping, it’s not that much more expensive to wear something that looks nice than something that looks frumpy.

But I do have one old-fashioned, tried-and-true trick to keep my clothing and myself from getting tattered and spattered while I’m doing my job: the apron.

Apron

An apron is an extremely helpful part of your professional garb and should be treated as such. A good apron fits you well, washes well, and makes you feel powerful when you put it on. A good apron it makes it so that you can wear something nicer than sweats while you’re doing tough household jobs without ruining your clothes.

Here’s my current apron:

The bold, bright colors fill me with vigor every time I put them on. I also love aprons that either mimic those in professional shops or kitchens (I can’t help but feel ready for anything when I put on a sturdy chef’s apron), or that are so fun and feminine or seriously masculine that they add to your attractiveness.

See what I mean?

If you don’t have an apron, you could always try something nifty like this:

It seems that recently aprons have been equated with an image of domestic slavery that makes some people, women especially, cringe at the thought of wearing an apron. However, this article from the LA Times argues that aprons are experiencing a revival! And after seeing how many awesome aprons are appearing on Pinterest and Etsy these days, I have to agree. And just look at how stylin’ this guy is in his apron (and check out the rest of apronwarehouse.com if you’re looking to buy a new apron). Does the fedora come with? I hope so.

If you’re a man and feel like aprons are more of a women’s wear item, let me just say that the first time I really noticed that my husband was attractive (before we were even dating) was when he came out of his apartment in his extra-long, heavy-duty kitchen apron (my husband is quite tall). He was carrying a big pot of something delicious he had cooked himself. The sunlight hit his eyes just right. In that moment, he was so handsome it startled me. The whole image said, “I’m a man who knows how to cook and do things around the house. I take housework seriously and like it. I even have a nice apron.” That’s a man with competence and skills. That’s attractive.

Remember, an apron is just a cape on backwards. And people who wear capes are either super heroes or magic workers, and as a homemaker, you are both. So wear your nice clothes and empower and protect yourself with your cape—I mean, apron. Of course, you could always put on your cape AND your apron . . .

If you decide an apron is not for you, that’s fine. But I hope that decision is not made because you still see aprons as a symbol of inferior status.

How to Get Dressed

Now that we know what to wear, let’s talk about how to get dressed. Getting completely dressed in the morning every day takes more preparation than just having some clean clothes on hand. It’s an investment of energy (which is why we have pajama day way too often), but it doesn’t take as much as we sometimes think it does. And the returns are well worth the investment.

To really make getting dressed happen, you’ve got to start the night before. So, grab your BOPO. In your “Routines” section, create headings for morning routines and evening routines. We’ll be adding more to these routines as we go, but for starters, put “lay out clothing and shoes for tomorrow” in your evening routine and “get completely dressed” in your morning routine.

Now, go and pick out an outfit for tomorrow. Maybe it’s not evening yet, but let’s get a head start on this one today if you can. Decide on a place in your closet, on your bedside stand, or even on a chair somewhere to make your “on deck” clothing station. This is where you’ll lay out your clothing every night. Now, get EVERYTHING you need for your outfit—top, bottom, socks, underwear, accessories, shoes, everything (unless you’re currently wearing it, of course).

If you have space, you could put something together like this:

I don’t have space to do this and the weather changes around where I live so much that I have to take things a day at a time. But if I could do this, I probably would.

You don’t need to lay out your apron with your clothing, but make sure you know where it is and that it’s clean. If it’s not clean (or you haven't bought the Bronx Black Bib Apron with matching fedora yet), plan on using a big dish towel around your waist or something until you can get the apron through the laundry or buy one.

Laying out clothing in advance may not seem like that big of a deal, but have you ever had a day where you pull out some clothes, put them on, decide they’re all wrong, pull out more, do it again, and before you know it, your whole wardrobe is strewn around the room as you try to get dressed that day? Maybe I’m the only one?

Well, since I’ve started laying out my clothing the night before, I haven’t had that happen to me. For some reason, I’m better at choosing what to wear the night before. In the morning, I don’t waste energy deciding what to wear; such important decision-making too early is too much. Instead, I focus on pulling myself together and taking care of my babies. Mornings are demanding times around my house, and if I can’t get ready fast, I don’t get ready at all. But if I’ve already cleared the hurdle of deciding what to wear, it’s a lot easier to make it all the way to doing hair and makeup, shaving, or whatever you've got to do to get looking nice in the morning.

All right! You have gathered your clothes for tomorrow! Your first step toward completing this assignment is done. 

Now, lay out clothes for the next day every night for a week. And if you’re comfortable doing so, take a selfie on a day that you feel particularly spiffy after getting ready in the morning. Post the selfie on our Facebook page!

Remember, getting completely dressed is an energy investment. You’ll be amazed at the energy returns you’ll get by doing this, even if the only person that sees you dressed up is yourself.